I never get it through my head..that I should just shut my mouth, dont talk about my thoughts, my feelings, my ideas, or my gripes. Once again, I FAIL. Learned awhile back not to share with family because I am judged, questioned and then basically told how I am wrong. So fuck me because I open my mouth and share with someone I have learned in the past is NOT on my side;. When will I learn..do I like to just be kicked and then when I am down kicked again? And I am fucking sorry, but the perfect family life of the 50’s is NOT the same as today. The relationships between a husband and wife are not the same. So why am I being held to the Cleaver family standards in the year 2012? What really gets me is that in the beginning it was known that I have a loud family, we say what we feel, speak our minds. But I am broken down over the years until I cannot take any stress and am made to feel like I am wrong. Wrong for not wanting to hear bitching about the same subject every fucking night. Wrong because I dont want to sit around while one drink after another is consumed and then have to deal with the remarks and attitude that arises after the third drink.

I am gonna tattoo on my arm, shut your mouth..maybe it is the only way I will remember.

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