“What were all those dreams we shared, so many years ago. What were all those plans we had , now left beside the road. Behind us in the road ” ~ Pearl Jam

What happens when one person in a relationship cherishes and remembers and the other chooses not to? Remembering the past is not dwelling. I liked those memories, until I found out how one-sided this relationship is. The promises, the undeniable attraction, thewritten words of undying love..being told “I focus on what lies ahead”..lies being a key word I guess. I am a fool. A broken hearted  fool. I believed the words, the memories..I believed in the plan for the future..until the priorities got skewed..got all fucked up. Chosen was a life supposedly hated..with a man who supposedly was dying..was disgusting..but he was the choice. That life was her choice. And all the promises she made to me for 8 years are now diminished into memories that I no longer want to remember. It is here in front of me, on the streets I drive, the air I breathe, the sun and moon I see. I need to be somewhere else. I need new memories of me, what its like to be by myself, live my life..I will never be so stupid again to believe in love. To believe not what he tells you to get something from you, to not believe what she says either.

How is it the one girl in my life who I trusted with my entire being would take my love and crush my soul to nothing. And she did it so easily and moved forward to what lies ahead.