Yet it starts with the same shit as every other day.

Tired of being at fault, tired of being talked down to, tired of my life, tired of breathing.

I am living empty, the things I love packed for months if not a couple years. Why dont I just release myself from the ‘things’, possessions, stuff..I have sold many things, thrown away others. Given away much of what were keepsakes..why keep all this fucking shit..all the things I collected over 46 yrs of my life. Certainly cant take it with me, I wont be buried with a storage shed.  Dont want to be buried anyway..just turn me to ash and toss me in the ocean. Why not just sell, everything, use the profit to remove myself from everything I have ever known or loved and disappear into nothingness. I am nothing, I love nothing, I care for nothing..not even myself.

How does a person gain the strength to either move on with their lives or end it all. I dont want to deal with sickness, tiredness, emptiness..if I move on I still have a dead heart, a dead soul, a destroyed being. Ending it is a much better way. In this ‘new’ year, I make one resolution..to rid myself of all belonging and fade away.