A few days March will be upon us. As we cut ties with one and shut the door a new door is already opened..This is good, I feel positive about stepping through and making this happen. I pushed to do a month worth of chores into a week.  Woke late today and with trepidation over the day. Walked on eggshells not knowing then decided to go back to bed.

I have been trying, to be compassionate, to be flirty, to be kind..even a little touchy feely..I have put that out into the relationship and as expected, was ignored, turned down, and pushed away. But I am supposed to keep trying..so he says.  Then of course there is her..her with the non communication but thinking when she says jump I will still say how high. Today when beckoned, my response was that I refuse to give chase anymore. It has been 3 days..one day I gave to her to relax..but of course higher priorities prevail and I am last..hell not even least because I am not on the to do list at all with her. She plays games, he plays games..I am playing my game now..my hand sits still..waiting it out..capturing moments for myself and forging on through the next door..there will be more, and if they dont open I will kick them in. My strength, courage and last of my will is sitting dormant. One day I will be free..no games..no rejection because I will never place myself in a position like I am in ever again. Weather wise March may come in like a lamb, but we are full force roaring..