Archive for June, 2013


Once again..

Realization of mistakes is haunting when you cant figure out the reasons you continue to make them. I know what the mistakes are, I live with my decisions and try to look ahead towards something new. The thing is, I keep making them, instead of putting down my foot and walking away I step right in and then think, “oh I will bide my time” ..my whole life, every breathing day fall away and leaves me in the same place as always. Now it has made me look back and begin to analyze when it started, was it like that then? Was I in it for a reason, did I continue on and believe it would get better..I did..I do..nothing has changed.

I know its too late. I know I should stop it. But I bide my time..one day will be different..I hear myself saying it and know its wrong. How stuck does one person get until there is no out? My feet are stuck in stone and as the next decision arises..and it IS arising..I follow into my next mistake. Once again I make choices with the wrong mind set. Afraid to live my own personal true self life..thats what it comes down to. And once again that makes me sad.

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So true

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one month

and the honeymoon is fucking over