Spinning on mine is normal. being told I am mental just pisses me off. New Doctor new ideas, then some not so new. Drugs. Yup..does it matter I was crazy on them. No. Does it matter I was suicidal on some. No. This ass says drugs are my only way out. What bullshit. He doesn’t believe in holistic therapy. He rushes in, spouts off, rushes out. Fuckers should not become doctors if they aren’t prepared to deal with patients.

Other than me now again in need of a new doc, I have lost a dear friend. She is dead to me. I killed her in my head so I could get away from what is causing mental anguish in my brain. She is a fucking bitch who thinks she is better and above everyone that she doesn’t feel the need to speak to anymore. Well bitch..you will get yours, you will fucking crash and burn like the horrible person you are and the lack of compassion and care you have for people who loved you will all turn around and you will see how it is to be in my shoes. Karma fucking takes too long to come about,. So I began my day believing she is dead. Gone. I cant call her because there is no more her. I cannot wish bad things on her because she is dead. The games she played with peoples lives killed her. The lies she told to everyone around her killed her. The hypocritical way she lived her life is what buried her alive. I am happy the fake fucking bitch is gone from my life.

I need to be open and free. I need to learn how to feel love again. I need to learn how to be loved. I am working on it. I will find my way and watch the fuck out, because when I do, I will crush little specks of shit that fooled me in the past. I never will be fooled again or toyed with.